Five Simple Acts to Rekindle Your Sex Life

Our times in the bedroom are still amazing, but after years together, sex is not quite as fresh as it once was. Thankfully, for all of us monogamous couples, there are simple ways to spice up our bedroom antics. The best thing about taking small steps is that you don’t have to make huge 180-degree changes; the goal is to get your partner to look at you in a different way, not make them look at you like you’ve entered the first stages of a midlife crisis.

#1— Stop the clock. How long did sex last the last time your partner and you made love? If it was too short, explore the possibilities of making love last an entire afternoon. One of the first things to go in long-term relationships is taking time out for just you. Send the kids to the rec center for the afternoon. Shut of the phone, TV and radio and lock yourselves in your bedroom. Undress each other, taking time to appreciate the way your partners body looks, the shape, the texture. Lie on the bed touching each other, but stay away from your partner’s hot spots. Touch the places you never touch. Memorize the feel of the skin behind the knee, on top of the foot. Let your hands glide over their neck, shoulders, arms, hands. Rub their scalp, feel their hair. Touch, touch, touch and then touch some more. Then, when you feel you have to touch those other spots or die, dive right in.

#2— Turn off the soundtrack. My mama always said actions speak louder than words. I’ll never tell her, but she was right. Let your body be your voice tonight. Instead of saying “Oh, yes there,” try looking your partner in the eye. Maintain eye contact as long as possible. If you are usually a noise maker in bed, resist your carnal urge to moan in his ear, and instead, make him look at your face. Make him see what it is he does to you. Communicate through eye contact, facial expressions, the bite of a lip, the scratch of fingernails down his back. You can get your point across just as good, if not better, using no words at all.

#3— Play dress up. Dressing up for your lover doesn’t have to be vulgar. If you hate the idea of wearing four inch stiletto heals and a feather boa, remember to keep it simple. A blindfold can work magic in the bedroom. Tie one on your partner and keep them guessing what you’ll do next. Wear a strategically placed garter under your usual skirt and hose, and give your lover a quick peek when crossing your legs. A simple costume piece like fuzzy cat ears on a headband or a cowboy hat can add fun without the hassle of donning a full fledged costume. Sexy doesn’t have to mean overkill.

#4— Take it outside. Go to your local park, find a semi-secluded spot and make out like you are sixteen again. Steam up the windows in the car. Spread a blanket on the lawn in the backyard and go alfresco. Next time you go out as a couple, whether to a parent-teacher conference, out to dinner, or to a cocktail party, leave the underwear at home. Or, better yet, on your partner’s seat in the car.

#5— Change it up. Try a new position tonight, besides the tried-and-true two or three you usually do. A great site to find instructions and photos is Try the leapfrog or the spontaneous position. Do some research, and surprise your lover with a printout of the position you’d like to try tonight. This is bound to set the stage for a wild evening.

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